Casey Plett

Laughter

Bisexuality to me has always been a series of jokes but

I only understand the jokes when I’m making them

Take my Grindr profile:

I bottom for men and top for women because that’s bisexuality to me bay-beee

Or what I tweet on Bisexual Awareness Day:

Currently re-watching the video for Summertime Sadness to celebrate Bisexual Awareness Day

I’m told bisexual stereotypes are about greed and indecision?

for most of my adult life sex has been looking out windows

belonging to older women and older men

then letting myself back into my apartment at late hours

feeling alone and beautiful

I wasn’t indecisive; I had what I wanted. I wasn’t greedy; I didn’t want any more

For most of my adult life this has all been unaccompanied by long-term meaningful relationships

(save one)

But anyway

the greed and indecision thing, I never got that

or rather, didn’t understand it past high school

Though maybe there’s cis/trans stuff involved here

If I had to create bi stereotypes that mean something to me

but also applies to people other than me

I would maybe structure them around loneliness

What’s that old wretched joke?

Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night?

Whatever

is

the

opposite

of

that

Anyway, enough of jokes

instead I’m going to tell you a story

now that I have money, I like to get waxed every month

full leg and Brazilian

the Brazilian scared me at first

then I thought

I didn’t serve up my junk to the operating table just to be afraid

of gentle women delivering modest pain, now did I?

Today is a beautiful summer day in New York

and the girl who does my waxing, who’s a fucking sweetheart

she tells me

she is seeing dead skin as she goes

it’s mostly around my labia

so we talk about exfoliation

I know people don’t want to use it around there

she says

Because they’re afraid it’ll go inside

Absolutely, I am!

I am now a woman hesitant and mystified around her own genitals

though I’ve let hundreds of people do all manner of shit with them, right?

Bisexuality to me has always been a series of jokes

Casey Plett is the author of A Dream of a Woman, Little Fish, A Safe Girl to Love, the co-editor of Meanwhile, Elsewhere: Science Fiction and Fantasy From Transgender Writers, and the Publisher at LittlePuss Press. She has written for The New York Times, Harper’s Bazaar, The Guardian, The Globe and Mail, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, the Winnipeg Free Press, and other publications. A winner of the Amazon First Novel Award, the Firecracker Award for Fiction, and a two-time winner of the Lambda Literary Award, her work has also been nominated for the Scotiabank Giller Prize. She splits her time between New York City and Windsor, Ontario.