Bisexuality to me has always been a series of jokes but
I only understand the jokes when I’m making them
Take my Grindr profile:
I bottom for men and top for women because that’s bisexuality to me bay-beee
Or what I tweet on Bisexual Awareness Day:
Currently re-watching the video for Summertime Sadness to celebrate Bisexual Awareness Day
I’m told bisexual stereotypes are about greed and indecision?
for most of my adult life sex has been looking out windows
belonging to older women and older men
then letting myself back into my apartment at late hours
feeling alone and beautiful
I wasn’t indecisive; I had what I wanted. I wasn’t greedy; I didn’t want any more
For most of my adult life this has all been unaccompanied by long-term meaningful relationships
the greed and indecision thing, I never got that
or rather, didn’t understand it past high school
Though maybe there’s cis/trans stuff involved here
If I had to create bi stereotypes that mean something to me
but also applies to people other than me
I would maybe structure them around loneliness
What’s that old wretched joke?
Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night?
Anyway, enough of jokes
instead I’m going to tell you a story
now that I have money, I like to get waxed every month
full leg and Brazilian
the Brazilian scared me at first
then I thought
I didn’t serve up my junk to the operating table just to be afraid
of gentle women delivering modest pain, now did I?
Today is a beautiful summer day in New York
and the girl who does my waxing, who’s a fucking sweetheart
she tells me
she is seeing dead skin as she goes
it’s mostly around my labia
so we talk about exfoliation
I know people don’t want to use it around there
Because they’re afraid it’ll go inside
Absolutely, I am!
I am now a woman hesitant and mystified around her own genitals
though I’ve let hundreds of people do all manner of shit with them, right?
Bisexuality to me has always been a series of jokes