lecha dodi 

judaism is so fucking horny

the rabbi tells us

that the talmud tells us

that it’s actually required for a husband to please his wife on shabbat

the husband can even take the wife anally and orally

(the rabbi tells us)

but he can’t demand it

okay well

kind of a cop out

it’s much hotter to demand it

like you can’t live without it

like you need it as much as God

on shabbat we sing

lecha dodi likrat kala 

let us go, my beloved, to greet the sabbath bride 

it means, I think, that shabbat is the bride and her lover is God

or maybe 

we are shabbat’s lovers 

and God is there too?

anyway

I went to a new shul and they couldn’t even clap on beat

humiliating

I went to an old shul and they were so fucking earnest

everything was patriarchy this and climate change that

also humiliating

still

when I hear lecha dodi 

it gives me that feeling

(fucking horny)

ancestors in the room